Awesome! Thanks for reading and happy early birthday!
“I used to love reading these essays! Why’d you stop writing them?” opined nobody.
If you’ve been wondering (you haven’t) where I’ve been for the past 3 months, the short answer would be “busy,” but the long answer (and the one that you’re about to receive) is a bit more complicated than that.
Here’s an essay on why I haven’t written many new essays recently!
Here’s some more words that I wrote!
Hello! I’ve re-named my “Homeless Posts” series “Stories from the Junk Drawer!” Still the same rejected-submissions concept, still the same sub-par quality. Enjoy?
By CNU Editor Danielle
The Pope Livetweets Easter Mass
(Originally submitted for consideration March 28th, 2013. Rejected March 30th, 2013.)
One of the coolest things about our new pope is that he’s on Twitter. He’s gotten so into social media recently that he’s taken to livetweeting.
Danielle Romeo is a writer, comedian, and occasional graphic designer stuck commuting between New York and New Jersey while attempting to make her dreams come true. You may have seen her work on the UCB stage (either mopping it up or in a grad show, most likely), HelloGiggles.com, CollegeHumor.com, or maybe she just thinks that she’s a bigger deal than she really is.
Look! I do actually do things with my life sometimes!
I just realized that I never posted these before. This is my design work with Quest Diagnostics from fall 2011 to spring 2012.
What you’re looking at is two different tear-pads (literally what it sounds like - a sheet of information that you can tear off and take with you) - one geared towards physicians, and one geared towards patients, and an email image. It should be noted that I didn’t create these designs from scratch, but rather modified and improved upon an existing design for older materials that needed a serious face-lift.
I also designed a gigantic poster, but the file for that seems to be MIA at the moment as my dad moved my folder on our shared drive and I can’t seem to locate it. Will upload as soon as it’s found!
Some of my
worst best ideas come late at night.
This week in Adventures of Florida Man.
This has proved to be the best Google Alert I’ve ever set.
“Homeless” because they sound like they’ve come from the mind of a crazy person? Or “homeless” because no other publications were willing to take them in? YOU decide.
by CNU Editor DanielleSports that the Summer Olympics forgot (Originally submitted for consideration 06/2012. Rejected…
Hi, I’m bringing some of my best and worst writing that no one’s ever seen before back from the grave.
“Homeless” because they sound like they’ve come from the mind of a crazy person? Or “homeless” because they couldn’t find a place to live on any other website that I write for? YOU decide.
a new feature by CNU Editor Danielle
Things that the “Other” Tab On A Soda Lid Could Stand For (Originally submitted for consideration 05/2012. Rejected 06/2012 and 08/2012.)
The “Other” tab. The little plastic tab that has eluded soda cup users for generations. Soda lid manufacturer’s lazy excuse for avoiding having to list the rest of the beverages that a soda cup could possibly contain or international conspiracy that has been covered up by the government for years? More likely than not, it’s just because there is only so much space on a soft drink cup lid, but let’s just keep going with the conspiracy theory idea for the sake of this article, m’kay?
The addition of the Other tab to the soda cup lid affords the opportunity for restaurants and soda drinkers alike to get creative with their definitions of what exactly “Other” means. It could represent a soda that’s not Cola or Root Beer, or it could stand for something besides soft drinks altogether. Whatever contents you choose to fill the soda cup with is up to you. The possibilities really are endless. Here is a list of a few possible contents that could be hidden under soda lids with the “Other” tab pressed:
- Iced Tea
- Vodka disguised in a soda cup for consumption in a public place
- Pee from that one time that you got stuck in traffic and really had to go
- Dr. Pepper
- Your dead cat’s ashes
- Rare air samples from the Himalayas (or so you were told by the guy in the dreadlocks that sold it to you outside of the Hot Topic)
- Fruit Punch
- Coke, but you get a kick out of breaking the rules, don’t you?
Danielle Romeo is a writer, comedian, and occasional graphic designer stuck commuting between New York and New Jersey while trying to make her dreams come true. You may have seen her work on the UCB stage (either mopping it up or in a grad show, most likely), HelloGiggles.com, CollegeHumor.com, or maybe she just thinks that she’s a bigger deal than she really is.
I think I may have found a feature that I can actually keep up with!
Give the wrong answer and it’s gonna let you down.
After hoarding every funny picture or screen cap I took over the past few months, I’ve finally started posting to CollegeHumor again! Enjoy the first of many contributions to post all throughout March!